Judy asks the question:
Does the church make any exception if the petitioner was in an abusive marriage? The ex-spouse has been "dormant" and there is a desire to "let sleeping dogs lie."
Thanks.
Dear Judy:
ANSWER:
Yes, your ex-spouse does need to be contacted. If he isn't, the case could be declared invalid because the rights of the ex-spouse were not protected. I understand about "letting sleeping dogs lie" - however, I have met many petitioner’s who felt the way you did, and in the end, there were no negative repercussions in contacting the ex-spouse.
You do not have to contact the ex-spouse- you simply have to provide an address for the ex-spouse to be contacted. The Tribunal does the contacting.
I know of two tribunals who decided to 'make exceptions' and wave the rights of the respondent and did not contact him (in both cases the ex-spouse was the husband). They made the exception because of the petitioner’s continued fear of her ex-husband and any reprisals he might make. So – the Tribunal, wanting to make it the situation less fearful for the petitioner, decided to assign a guardian to represent the ex-spouse throughout the process - and never contacted the ex-spouse.
The petitioner felt quite relieved - however, in the end, the Appeals Court overturned the affirmative decision of the first court because they stated that the rights of the ex-spouse had been denied.
The case then went to Rome and Rome agreed with the Appeal Court. So, in the long run, it only turned out worse for the petitioner.
I hope this explanation helps.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
I was divorced and remarried, and then my ex spouse died – now what?
At times it may be helpful for readers if I share some of the many email questions I receive through this blog.
Here is a recent one:
My husband and I are mid-60's. We have been married 40 years and were married by a Justice of the Peace. We both were divorced at that time, no children. Neither of us wanted the divorces.
My ex husband was homosexual and my husband's ex wife suffered from a serious mental illness. They both wanted out of the marriage for these reasons. Sadly, both of these previous spouses have since died.
We have never been Catholics, but now we are about to begin the classes to become Catholic. We have one grown child from our marriage. Our questions are:
QUESTION:
If we are confirmed in the Catholic faith, can we then take Holy Communion in view of these past marriages, divorces, and deaths of previous spouses? If not, what can be done to remove this roadblock?
ANSWER:
The answer to the questions is that since you are both widowed neither of you needs a church annulment. The death of a spouse ends the legal union of husband and wife. So you are both presently free to marry in the Church.
As you work with your parish priest/associate for entering into the Catholic Church, simply inform them of your previous unions. They may/may not need to submit copies of your former marriage licenses and the death notices of your former spouses to the tribunal or chancery for church confirmation. But that is just a matter of paperwork.
The good news for you is there is nothing to block the way of having your present civil marriage blessed in the Church.
Here is a recent one:
My husband and I are mid-60's. We have been married 40 years and were married by a Justice of the Peace. We both were divorced at that time, no children. Neither of us wanted the divorces.
My ex husband was homosexual and my husband's ex wife suffered from a serious mental illness. They both wanted out of the marriage for these reasons. Sadly, both of these previous spouses have since died.
We have never been Catholics, but now we are about to begin the classes to become Catholic. We have one grown child from our marriage. Our questions are:
QUESTION:
If we are confirmed in the Catholic faith, can we then take Holy Communion in view of these past marriages, divorces, and deaths of previous spouses? If not, what can be done to remove this roadblock?
ANSWER:
The answer to the questions is that since you are both widowed neither of you needs a church annulment. The death of a spouse ends the legal union of husband and wife. So you are both presently free to marry in the Church.
As you work with your parish priest/associate for entering into the Catholic Church, simply inform them of your previous unions. They may/may not need to submit copies of your former marriage licenses and the death notices of your former spouses to the tribunal or chancery for church confirmation. But that is just a matter of paperwork.
The good news for you is there is nothing to block the way of having your present civil marriage blessed in the Church.
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