Why is forgiveness so important?

Commenting on the earlier post on how to forgive my ex-spouse, a reader offers these reflections:

Reader say:
"If just one person can find the peace I found from forgiveness, then I will be passing on the blessing I had.
I was in a marriage for over 20 years. I do not think my spouse was ever capable of loving anyone and did not really love me. During most of the marriage I was a victim of verbal abuse. When we argued I spoke in a normal tone, she screamed. Nothing I ever did was right.I am going to be applying for an annulment with Sr Sandra s help since in my heart I believe we lived together but were never married.
This funny and tragic story sums it up.
A couple has been married for over 25 years. A husband comes down to the kitchen for breakfast and asks his wife for one fired egg and one scrambled egg. She gladly makes toast, coffee, bacon, and one scrambled egg and one fried egg, each on a different plate.
When she serves this mini feast he screams “Damn it can t you do anything right?” Baffled she says” what could be wrong?” and he screams “YOU FRIED THE WRONG EGG!!!” That one sentence describes my “marriage”.
When my ex wife filed for divorce two years ago I agreed because I just could not take anymore and thought our children were old enough. I always asked myself as did my late father What Did I do wrong. I was a good provider, had no vices, loved her and so on. I recently read a bible passage that in essence there are some things in life that you will never understand why and God just wants you to accept and move on. That is what I have done.
One month after the divorce was final I went to my pastor. We sat in his office and I said “Monsignor I do not know now nor will I ever know what I did wrong but I ask God to forgive me” Then I added “I forgive her unconditionally for what happened and anything that happens in the future.”
When you forgive in this situation you do it much more for yourself then the person you are forgiving. As the story about the men at the memorial, without forgiving, the veteran was still a prisoner.
Until you forgive, you are a prisoner of your ex spouse. In some way they control your feelings. But when you forgive, it frees you of their control of you. You feel a tremendous burden has been lifted and you can move on with your life.
I have tried to maintain a civil relationship with my ex spouse for the sake of our two teenage children. She wants no part it .Recently in an email she asked that we know longer speak to each other unless it is an emergency concerning the children. She only wants to communicate by email.
So here is the most important lesson about forgiving your former spouse. When you forgive, you do it to bring you peace, and no longer have them control your emotions.
Forgiveness does not mean you now have to like your ex spouse. We are human and have extremely strong emotions about someone who abused you for so long. Nor do you have to communicate with them. I tried because of the children, but have accepted her terms to avoid conflict that will affect the children.
Forgiveness does not have to or may not come quickly. Someone I befriended a year ago, was divorced and really needed someone to talk to. One of the first things I recommended is for her to forgive her ex spouse. She said she never could. I said you need to try, and she asked if I would help her. I promised I would. After almost one year, she emailed me telling me “I did it. I forgave him and what a tremendous burden has been lifted.” She thanked me for my wisdom and kind words and I told her I was just an instrument of God s peace. He put the words in my heart and I said them.
So please pray that someday you can forgive. But do not do it expecting forgiveness from your former spouse. That may never happen and that is alright. You forgave- you have an inner peace that frees you as you move on to the next phase of your life.
Prayers and blessings."

Does a non-Catholic need an annulment from the catholic church?

QUESTION FROM A BLOGGER
My fiance was baptized Methodist. He was previously married to a woman whom was never baptized. They were married by the Justice of Peace. I (Catholic) have never been married. In order to be married in the Catholic church does he have to have his first marriage annulled, or what does he need to do?

SISTER SANDRA ANSWERS:
This is a question that is often asked regarding a non-Catholic party. The Catholic Church recognizes your fiance's marriage as a valid, legitimate marriage, even though it did not take place in the Catholic Church. As long as it was a first marriage for both parties, and, as long as neither party was a Catholic, then their marriage is considered valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church. Therefore, if your fiance wants to marry in the Catholic Church he would need to go to the catholic church tribunal and apply for an annulment of his marriage. A good percentage of marriages that are annulled at a Catholic Tribunal are marriages of non-catholics.

However, if a catholic party was married in a Methodist church, or by the Justice of the Peace, or any other denominational church, then that marriage is not valid in the eyes of the church and that catholic party would not need an annulment. The reason for this is because the church requires Catholics to be married in the Catholic Church for it to be valid.

Indeed, how odd it would be if the Catholic Church only recognized Catholic Church marriages as valid. So, once the Catholic Church recognizes a marriage as valid, or as a good and natural marriage, any question of invalidity must come before a church tribunal if a Catholic is involved in a subsequent marriage. (there is a good explanation of this found in Fr. Michael Foster's book entitled: "Annulment: The Wedding that Was.")