I was recently asked:
I hope you can help me. Thank you in advance
I married a man in 1992 who was Catholic. I was/am also Catholic.
For various reasons we were not married in the church. We married in a civil wedding ceremony.
Turns out he was an extremely violent man, which I should have picked up on before we married. Anyway....
We had one child and divorced in 1994.
After being a divorced mom for 8 years I remarried a wonderful Protestant man in 2002. We had another child and both children have been raised within the church. I do not take Holy Communion, because of my divorce and remarriage outside the church and it is killing me.
I feel filthy every time I walk into a church. Is there any way for me to get right with the church again?
I responded:
Since you were baptized Catholic at the time of your first marriage - and you chose not to bring that marriage to the church - your civil wedding is not recognized in church law. So you are not bound to it.
However because the wedding took place you need to show it was never later validated - some people say "blest" - in the church. So all you need to do is to go to your local parish and bring with you:
1. your baptismal certificate (call the church where you were baptized as you need a recent copy),
2. your wedding certificate
3. and, your divorce papers
These documents will show you are free to marry in the church.
Assuming your present husband was not married prior to marrying you - then, you are both free to marry in the Catholic Church.
Please don't delay this because it will, most likely, bring you a great deal of peace of mind,
And, know that God never considers you "filthy" - you are God's child - God cares and loves you very much!
