What if my ex-spouse was abusive?

Judy asks the question:

Does the church make any exception if the petitioner was in an abusive marriage? The ex-spouse has been "dormant" and there is a desire to "let sleeping dogs lie."
Thanks.
Dear Judy:

ANSWER:
Yes, your ex-spouse does need to be contacted. If he isn't, the case could be declared invalid because the rights of the ex-spouse were not protected. I understand about "letting sleeping dogs lie" - however, I have met many petitioner’s who felt the way you did, and in the end, there were no negative repercussions in contacting the ex-spouse.

You do not have to contact the ex-spouse- you simply have to provide an address for the ex-spouse to be contacted. The Tribunal does the contacting.

I know of two tribunals who decided to 'make exceptions' and wave the rights of the respondent and did not contact him (in both cases the ex-spouse was the husband). They made the exception because of the petitioner’s continued fear of her ex-husband and any reprisals he might make. So – the Tribunal, wanting to make it the situation less fearful for the petitioner, decided to assign a guardian to represent the ex-spouse throughout the process - and never contacted the ex-spouse.

The petitioner felt quite relieved - however, in the end, the Appeals Court overturned the affirmative decision of the first court because they stated that the rights of the ex-spouse had been denied.

The case then went to Rome and Rome agreed with the Appeal Court. So, in the long run, it only turned out worse for the petitioner.

I hope this explanation helps.